Helping someone

Helping someone who is going through fertility struggles

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If someone you care about shares that they are experiencing fertility challenges, it can be difficult to know what to say or do. Often, there is no perfect response - and that’s okay.

What usually helps most in these moments is not advice or solutions, but simply being there. Listening, showing patience, and allowing space for them to share as much or as little as they feel comfortable with can make a real difference. Fertility struggles can feel very isolating, and having someone who responds with kindness and understanding can be incredibly important.

Everyone’s experience is different, but small acts of sensitivity and awareness can go a long way in helping someone feel supported.

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Telling someone struggling with their fertility that you are pregnant

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Pregnancy announcements can be hard to hear for someone experiencing infertility or loss. While of course being happy for the person sharing their news, it will also be a reminder of what they have lost or are struggling to have.

If you are worried that hearing about your pregnancy may upset someone you care about then - while you can’t take away their pain - there are a few ways you can approach it with sensitivity:

• Tell them by text - it might feel like this would be less personal than telling them face to face or over the phone. But by sending a message, it allows them time to take it in before responding.
• Send it at a time they are likely to be at home - so that they can digest the news in private.
• Be understanding - if it takes them a while to reply or if they distance themselves a little for a while, know that it is not a reflection on you or your friendship. “Happy for them but sad for me” is how it is often described.
• Infertility and loss can feel like a lonely place and one that others often struggle to understand. So showing someone consideration and sensitivity during your own exciting time is something they will always be grateful to you for.
  

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